Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

After the shopping spree in Hoi An, we flew further south to Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC), better known as Saigon, but also known as the Paris of the Orient as it was a key French colony. “The Fall of Saigon” or “Liberation of Saigon” (depending on your viewpoint) happened in 1975 at the conclusion of the Vietnam War and the city was soon renamed Ho Chi Minh City after the communist leader of the Viet Cong.

One of the most disturbing tours we took on our trip was that of the War Remnants Museum. The Museum was actually opened in 1975 and was known as “The House for Displaying War Crimes of American Imperialism and the Puppet Government of South Vietnam”.  An inoffensive, neutral name that rolls off the tongue eh? The name evolved into the Museum of American War Crimes, then the War Crimes Museum and finally the War Remnants Museum. The museum grounds had some of the large tanks and helicopters that the US Army used. Inside the museum were various themed rooms. Some showed domestic and international art and media portrayal of the war, with an obvious anti-US or pro-Viet Cong bias. One of the toughest exhibits we digested was the one focused on chemical warfare, covering the effects of Agent Orange, napalm and defoliants used by the US to remove the jungle advantage the Viet Cong fighters had. Horrid deformities continue to be experienced by the newest generation of Vietnamese whose parents or grandparents were harmed by the chemicals. Another exhibit covered the My Lai massacre which can only be described as a few maniacal American soldiers taking gross, barbaric liberties with Vietnamese civilian children, women and men. I’ve never felt that emotionally charged walking out of a museum before and when I asked Dal what she’s do if she saw an American at the moment, she angrily replied “I’d punch them in the face”.  [Sidebar :  I know a few of our American friends check our blog but since you’re all reasonable people, please rest assured you won’t be wearing knuckle imprints after our next encounter]

Outside the War Remnants Museum

One of the exhibits from the tours

A couple of days later, we took a tour of the Cu Chi tunnels located at a pivotal jungle area where much fighting occurred. We were amazed to see the intricate 75-mile long network of tunnels that the Viet Cong used during combat to hide, eat, move, transport supplies, treat injuries and sleep. It was even used to lure and trap the burly Americans who would get stuck in the tunnels.  There were several highlights of this tour including seeing the various methods of trapping the enemies and getting a chance to navigate through the tunnels. At the end of the tour, they have a shooting range where one can try firing an assault rifle. I chose to make my mark with an AK47 (10 bullets for about $12…I missed the target 9 times) for the first, and likely last, time I’ll ever shoot a gun.

Navigating the Cu Chi tunnels

Sniping the enemy

Dal was the only one who fit into this tunnel. Note the blue Crocs.

Continuing the trend from Hoi An, we did some shopping. After searching 2 months for a rain-jacket that fit AND was under $100US AND was waterproof, Dal finally found a sweet North Face jacket for $22. I was astonished by the prices but given all the tags on the gear as well the conversations I had with people in the market, it seems to be legit. I wound up buying a pair of Croc shoes for $8 [Sidebar : Yes. I’m one of those people who have made fun of people who wore Crocs. Now that I own a pair and have worn them continuously for six weeks, they’re easily the most comfortable, versatile pair of sandals I’ve ever had. I bought a beige pair so they wouldn’t stand out too much. A Russian dude on our Cu Chi tunnels tour took a different approach and bought a pair of bright, garish aqua blue Crocs. What a douche.]

Lastly, I’d like to recap the strangest of the many massages we had in South East Asia. There was a sign in our hotel that massages were available for $8. The photo and text on the poster looked appropriate and the hotel was classy enough that we assumed we were in for a legit massage. So we spoke to the hotel front desk and ordered 2 masseuses for a couples massage at 9pm. At 9pm, the doorbell at our hotel rang and a petite Asian woman in a top and miniskirt holding a small towel and baby oil smiled at us. Dal and I looked at each other quizzically and then asked her where the other masseuse was. She didn’t speak a lick of English so all 3 of us went down to the front desk to find out what happened. The woman at the front desk didn’t speak much English but after a few minutes, we figured out the 2^nd woman would be coming at 9:45pm. So we told the first girl to come back at 9:45 so that we could get our massages together.  As we returned to our room, Dal worriedly asked me if we should just cancel. I quickly soothed her doubts and assured her the massage would be relaxing and the experience would be fun.  I sprinkled in a few foursome jokes which probably didn’t help the cause…but I couldn’t help myself. At around 10pm, both masseuses arrived and we got started. They basically laid a bath towel for each of us on the double bed and Dal and I lay there in our underwear. I had the petite masseuse who showed up early and she attempted to pulverize me for the next hour. Dal received a much gentler massage from her larger masseuse. At times, it was a little too gentle as the masseuse was deeply engrossed in a phone conversation and was basically delivering a half-assed one-armed massage. I looked at her..and then at my masseuse. Thankfully my masseuse clued in and asked her friend to put her phone away and get back to work. However Dal’s friend didn’t turn her ringer off and we heard beeps repeatedly throughout the hour. At another point…I felt my masseuse standing on my back so I told Dal to turn her head and take a look. She did and burst out laughing as mine was basically dancing a Thai jig while using the ceiling to maintain her balance. Sorry..no photos. At the end of the massage, we tried tipping $1 to each of them. Suddenly, their English skills improved dramatically. “Not enough. Give more please”.  We gave an extra dollar each and sent them on their way.

The bed, prior to the doubles massage.

Bonus photo : Note the striking resemblance to the real Mona Lisa. You can barely tell the difference eh ?

Overall, we enjoyed Saigon more than Hanoi because it was a much better walking city. Many, MANY people warned us about safety in terms of bag snatching and pick-pocketing so we took the necessary precautions and really enjoyed ourselves here.

Shopping Spree in Hoi An, Vietnam

After Hanoi, we flew down the Vietnamese coast to Da Nang airport and then took a 30 minute car ride south to Hoi An. Many travellers told us about this sleepy French colonial town with scores of tailor shops. We had read in a few places that this was THE place to get custom tailored clothing made so we planned for a 4-night stay to give ourselves enough time for fittings and alterations. We checked into our hotel at night and rested up for a day of clothes shopping. Our hotel was the Southern Guesthouse and it was $24 a night (including wifi, complimentary breakfast for 2, shuttle into town). The amenities were great but staff service was only average. [sidebar : most of our hotels have been under $30 a night. In Asia, it’s easy for a couple of to find a place for less than $15 a night, but we prefer luxuries such as: no cockroaches, private bathroom, clean (or the appearance of clean) sheets, air-con and hot water. Our hotel booking process generally was done a couple of days in advance of arrival date : first go to TripAdvisor.com and get their ranked list of hotels under $50 in the city we’re staying and then cross-check with expedia or agoda.com to see if there was availability. Pretty painless and 90% of our hotels have been totally fine].

That night, I googled “Hoi An Tailors” and bookmarked a list of reputable tailors as well as tips on buying tailored clothes in Hoi An. The emphatic Rule #1  : Don’t buy at the first shop you go into. I’ll come back to that point in a moment.

The next morning, Dal and I took the short shuttle from the hotel to the downtown area. About 10 seconds after we got off and started walking, a lady on her bike waved at us and we exchanged greetings. She asked us where we were from and we told her Canada. She confidently told us she had a cousin in Vancouver. And then she dropped the boom. She said she had a clothing shop just down the street and that we must come over because lots of Canadians buy their clothes there. Dal and I looked at each other and rationalized that we needed to start somewhere and her place was as good as any. And of course, we were just going to look…not buy.

We followed the bike lady and soon arrived at her shop. She proudly showed a book of testimonials to me while another lady occupied Dal with all the fabrics and samples. Secretly, I admired their divide and conquer tactics. Well played, ladies. Fast forward an hour and we left the store having placed an order of a dress for Dal and a suit and 2 shirts for me. What happened to not buying at the first store? Well, we justified to ourselves that we bargained a decent enough deal ($125 for my suit and 2 shirts and $30 for a dress for Dal) and that we’d actually doubt the finished product if we paid any less. Also, the store was listed in google for solid quality AND of course the book of testimonials (which I actually checked to see if there was identical handwriting on multiple pages…there weren’t) pushed us over the hump. She told us to come back at 5pm that same day for our first fitting. We walked out of the store a little dazed and a little confused wondering how the hell we each had purchased clothing before 11am on the first day.

I’ll spare you the gory details on all the tailor visits, the fittings, the re-fittings, the runway walks showing off clothes. We’ll let the numbers speak for themselves:

Number of tailor shops we made purchases from: 4

Number of suits for David: 3

Number of shirts for David: 5

Number of business outfits for Dal: 3

Number of formal dresses for Dal: 2

Number of winter coats for Dal: 1

Number of pairs of shoes for Dal: 1

Number of suitcases purchased to carry new clothes: 1

We justified to ourselves that we’ll need decent outfits for the job interviews we hope to get when we return to Canada. Additionally, it would be a wasted opportunity if we DIDN’T buy clothes that we likely would have bought in Canada at 3 times the prices. So even though we left Hoi An feeling somewhat embarrassed by our shopping spree given that our trip revealed such abject poverty and had taught us how few possessions were required to be happy, there was negligible buyer’s remorse.

Here are a few more highlights of Hoi An :

Café Des Amis: A fun little restaurant along the waterfront that was started by Mr Kim who has been a guest chef for dignitaries in Europe. It was a fixed-menu (Seafood or Veg) consisting of whatever Mr Kim felt like making that day. The meal itself was quite tasty and ridiculously filling and reminded me of a poor-man Susur’s (a swank resto-experience in Toronto). Again, a testimonial book was brought out and our contribution wound up being a few haikus.

Row Boat Lady: On our second day, we walked along the waterfront and these frail, elderly women in these wooden rowboats asked if we wanted rides. We politely refused, partly due to the ominous raincloud about to unleash havoc and partly due to the fact that Dal felt it was just wrong for a lady the same age as her Nana to row my hulking mass around.  The next day, we walked by the waterfront again and I told Dal that if we saw the same lady, we should get a boat-ride from her. If she’s in the boat, she either enjoys it and/or needs the money and it would probably be a fun blog-worthy experience. As luck would have it, we heard her unmistakable nasal “boa-riiiiiiiiiide” proposition and we negotiated a 30 minute ride for 60,000 dong which is $3 (yes yes…Dal chided me for negotiating with an old lady so we gave her a generous tip). The ride itself was fun…she let us wear her traditional Vietnamese hat, and at one point, I did all the paddling while she enjoyed a well-earned rest.

Ant infestation : Being suckers for snacks, we had purchased bags of sugared shredded coconut and other goodies which we left in the hotel room one afternoon. More specifically, Dal left one bag open on the nightstand and apparently I had left a bag open near the laptop, upon which I had dropped some of the powdered sugar during a late night blogging session. When we returned to the room, Dal was stunned to see a small lizard in her bag. I proceeded to give her a stern lecture on the hygienic dangers of not cleaning up after herself. After my rant had run out of steam, I opened up my laptop and discovered about 50 small ants darting in and out of the crevices of the keys and on the screen. They had also spread to the surrounding areas on the bed and appeared to be building civilizations in my knapsack, on our rainjackets and in one of the trolley bags. After Dal summarily mimicked my rant, we spent the next few hours on clean-up duty and did our best to exterminate the little buggers. In a way, that experience was good for us because it somewhat prepared us emotionally for a cockroach infestation which we’d encounter later on the trip.

Hoi An was a delightful highlight for both of us thanks to the shopping, the food, the sights, the smiles and the old lady in a rowboat.

A Cruise on Halong Bay

All of the major travel websites strongly recommended an overnight stay on a junk cruiser in Halong Bay, so we got our hotel in Hanoi to organize a trip for us, and the next day we were off at 8am on a 4 hour bus ride to Halong City (a dump) where we’d board our boat for Halong Bay (paradise).  Somehow, the captain of our boat was an hour late (which led to a round of Captain Stube-id jokes) but by 2pm, we were on our cruiser and ready to set sail for a trip around the hundreds of limestone karsts and isles emerging spectacularly from the clear blue water.

Our Amber Gold Cruise boat

The junk cruiser was a neat experience. They served copious amounts of tasty Vietnamese food, had a nice deck on the top floor and comfortable cabins. The view from the deck was gorgeous. We were also able to kayak for a couple of hours in Halong Bay, which translates into Descending Dragon Bay is a UNESCO World heritage site and it’s difficult to compare to anything else I’ve seen. It’s the backdrop of James Bond’s “Tomorrow Never Dies” flick. Some of the islands are actually completely hollow and we able to into one of the biggest ones, Hang Dau Go, which is a  massive cave that contains stalactites and stalagmites as well as 19^th century French graffiti.

Our Titanic moment

Chilling on the deck

Sunset from our kayak

One of our boat-mates was a Vietnamese man who had moved to the US in the 1970’s and was now returning to Vietnam for the first time. The amazing thing was that he was travelling with his in-laws and their family, none of whom he had met before…and his wife was back in the States ! His English was pretty good and he reminded me a lot of famous poker pro Scotty Nguyen because of his affable, engaging personality and his love for Tequila Sunrises regardless of time-of-day. Although his in-laws didn’t speak much English, it appeared that they all bonded quite well over several rounds of drinks

Scotty Nguyen loves ya baby !

We also bonded with a Quebec couple, Roger and Catherine that have taken a year off to cycle around various countries. They had completed 3 months in Turkey and were making their way through Vietnam before headed to AUS/NZ.  Their fantastic blog, written in French, is found at http://rogeretcatherine.blogspot.com and it's worth a click just for the photos. Similar to at least half of the Canadian long-term vacationers we’ve encountered on our travel, they are noble school teachers and we enjoyed sharing our Rwandan teaching experiences with them.

Lunch with Roger and Catherine

Speaking of Quebec..Habs-Leafs game this Saturday and I'm thrilled to say I'll be watching an internet feed of it from my McGill buddy Venka's place in Bangalore at 5:30am Sunday morning ! It'll be the first hockey I'll be watching all season and of course I'm a huge Leafs fan and he's a big Habs fan. For inspiration, I'll be playing this video regularly leading up to game time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmq7WGF55yQ

Back when we were in 'Nam

After five soothing days in Luang Prabang, Laos we flew to Hanoi to begin our tour of ‘Nam (yes…I love telling stories of back when I was in ‘Nam). We arrived in the evening and were picked up by two guys our hotel had sent for us. For the first 15 minutes of our ride, I was a little suspicious because they spoke virtually no english, didn’t really smile, drove fast...and there were TWO guys. Why would two guys be necessary for a hotel pickup of two people?? After a while though, my fatigue set in and I began to doze off. Dal quickly woke me, apparently stricken by the same suspicions and warned me NOT to fall asleep during this ride. (Sidebar : When travelling, I recommend a small dose of paranoia. 99.9% of the world are good, honest people willing to help, so too much distrust leads to unnecessary stress and missed opportunities. But too little caution and you leave yourself exposed to thieves, scam-artists, and filthy hotel bathrooms). We wound up reaching safely, and I was glad I stayed awake because it was our first experience of truly crazian (crazy-asian) driving at its finest.

We did a day tour of Hanoi which was pretty good. Our tour mates included: a precocious Argentinian named Ignacio (I had mixed feelings about him. I loved that his nickname was Nacho (Nachoooooooooooo !!) but despised him for guessing my age to be 46 years old), 2 elderly Vietnamese people that kept wandering off and an elderly Australian gentleman with a younger Singaporean wife who were fun. We visited Ho Chi Minh’s Palace grounds. For clarification : Ho Chi Minh was the leader of the Vietnamese independence movement and the leader of the Viet Cong and his palace grounds were in Hanoi which is in the North; Saigon (in the south) however has been renamed Ho Chi Minh City or HCMC). Uncle Ho, as he’s affectionately referred to, is still revered as a national hero and maintains almost god-like status by the communist government and many Vietnamese people. This is why I was a bit aghast when Dal asked our tour guide if he had had many mistresses.

Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum

The older wandering Vietnamese couple, Nachooooooo and us

Later in the tour, we were taken to a 6-story building where we saw how a piece of pottery was created, shaped, coloured, polished and completed into a finished product..to be sold at your local dollar store. Actually..the prices were quite high compared to the Dollar Store, however these were genuinely handmade. One pet peeve of mine about city tours in Asia is that you’re inevitably taken to a place where you feel almost obligated to purchase something. We obligingly purchased 2 mugs – once shaped like a dog, and the other shaped like a mouse. Dal is planning several tea parties when we get back to show off her mouse mug.

Dal creating on a masterpiece

They listened to hip hop as they worked

$5 US ?? Do you know how much I could get this for at a Scarborough Dollar Store ?

We were then taken to another museum that used to be the University of Literature. To be honest I don’t remember much about it, but it was our first sighting of Confucius statues, which of course led to rounds of "Confucius says" jokes. Outside the museum, we encountered a slew of postcard and book vendors including the boy below. We wound up buying “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini for $5 which is a brilliant yet disturbing novel set in Afghanistan.

Confucius says

I honestly can't remember the background..but I liked the photo..

Really sweet kid selling postcards and novels outside the museum.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the wonderful staff at the Hanoi Guesthouse. It was only $22 a night and came with breakfast (a big bowl of Pho or bread/jam). The room was fine (although it was on the 4^th floor and had no elevator) and laundry was reasonably priced and it was in a location close to the action. But what was truly phenomenal was the staff that went above the call of duty regularly when it came to coordinating trips, flights and ensuring our comfort. They always had a genuine large smile on their face and we’d strongly recommend this hotel to anyone visiting Hanoi. Hanoiguesthouse.com is their website.

In terms of food, the hotel recommended a restaurant down the street that served the best deep fried shrimp I’ve ever eaten. I was sooo tempted to try the deep fried crickets but decided against it as we were going on an overnight cruise to Halong Bay the next day and I didn’t want an upset stomach. We also went to another restaurant, Quan An Ngon, recommended #3 out of 225 on Trip Advisor which reminded me a little of the Movenpick chain in that there were several types of cuisines available. Ironically, this was also the only restaurant in Asia that didn’t have spring rolls...because they ran out of them…at 8pm ! How does that happen in Vietnam ??

Hanoi was actually one of our least favorite cities on our SE Asia trip. The main reason is that we thought it was a terrible walking city. Hanoi is a city with around 6 million people and 3 million motos and they’re everywhere. They’re parked all over the sidewalks, they’re weaving down the road at breakneck speed or they’re driving along the edge of the road in the wrong direction. Crossing the street is an experience that you almost have to psyche yourself up for. I harkened back to the days of playing computer Frogger as my inspiration.  Dal’s strategy was to hold my hand, close her eyes and hope for the best. Hanoi was also a stark contrast to the clear air and tranquil, leisurely atmosphere of Luang Prabang so the culture shock may have caught us off guard. Hanoi’s a place worth checking out, but we’re glad we only spent a couple of nights there.

Motos. They're EVERYwhere !!

- DP